The Blame Game

So as to follow suit of our blame everyone but myself society I have a blame today. At the office I typically yell across the hall to my work spouse and next door to my mentor. Most people that know me would tell you I don't yell and typically don't speak loud enough. But I yell to get these two attention, probably because I am too lazy to get out of my chair when I need help. But the blame for this can be laid squarely on the shoulders of three of my dearest friends; JP, SEW, and JCA. Yes, we really refer to each other by our initials. Lightbulb: JCA, that is how you should refer to us in your wedding program! J/K.

You see JP and I lived in the same quarters next door to the other two. Before we began our cross country instant messaging chats we yelled to get the others attention. In all actuality, JP and I probably did it the year before too as we lived only a few doors away from each other.

Anyhoos, I am off to bed. 15 more days of tax season, 2 audits to complete before then, 1 board report on Tuesday, and 2 audits to prep for. AND 29 DAYS UNTIL THE KID AND I LEAVE FOR KS AND 30 DAYS UNTIL WE SEE B!


P.S. to SEW-You were in one of my crazy dreams the other night. You had a son named Noah and an adorable adopted daughter that had jet black hair. Not that the boy wasn't adorable, I just remember the girl.

Dreams, Dreams, Dreams, Dreams

The real kind, the hope kind, the one day kind, and the never thought of.

The real kind suck right now. I have nightmares about clients that I just can't get off my desk. I thought the weird pregnancy dreams ended after you know.....birth! They haven't for me yet, and quite frankly have gotten weirder and I remember them more clearly now. Plus my dream telling friend left me for the Rockies in July. Seriously though, I have no idea what they mean, but know it must be work related stress. And work-related stress is not something I am in short suplly of right now.

I had two very humbling experiences in the past two weeks and it was enough to make me question my career choice. I know things happen and I didn't do them on purpose but it goes to show what occurs when you are pressed against deadlines and have a ton to do. The crazy part of the whole thing is, I feel like I must be doing something right because I get more and more responsibilites. Which is good, but I sometimes don't feel I deserve them. I mean, come on, I am the girl that procrastinates taking the exam. I know I am qualified, I know I know the material, and for the most part know why I am doing things, but I don't have those three little letters after my name. That should be motivation enough right? Nope, it scares the crap out of me.

The hope kind.....I can't jinx. Go CATS! If plane tix weren't $1100 and it wasn't tax season, I would be in Salt Lake City before you could say Bobsyouruncle.

The damn CPA exam. When am I going to take it again? Heck, when I am going to schedule a part? Maybe one day when I can string together some zzzz's, study consistently, and not be worried about getting all my work done at work. You know the place that pays the bills and keeps me in constant communication with adults. But see above, that anxiety is enough to put me at a standstill. One day, I will conquer my fears, step up and meet them head on and pass. Just like I did with the ACT that helped pay my way through school.

As a little girl, I never dreamed of being a mom. Whenever the Sibs and I played "house" we were always siblings, typically orphans, that had to care for our younger siblings. Usually pioneers too, as my bro loves a good western. Even when B and I were dating and starting getting serious, we said we didn't want kids. Even after we got married, didn't think so. Plus, I never thought I could have kids so maybe that is why I never let my mind go there. It's ironic too, I think how subconciously I am in tune with my body sometimes. Case in point, I was never afraid of delivery the Kid but I could never picture it in my mind what I thought the experience was going to be like and that is something I usually can do. I even told my doc that I didn't think she was head down and that while I felt kicks and stuff there was no rolling and shifting. Wouldn't you know it, I had a little head wedged against my hip bone that led to hours of pushing and one c-section later. I digress.

Back to my point. I never dreamed of being a mom and most days I don't know what to expect or if I will live up to the challenge. But that little girl is so sweet and so determined, such a exceptionally well mixed version of her dad and I that I can't help but think our decision to have a baby was a good one. She wears me out with her stubborness, amazes me with her determination and cracks my shit up when she knows she has done something funny. The girl loves Lady Antebellum, constantly wants to be moving, but seems to know when its the last two minutes of a ball game and will sit still with me while we finish it out. We hoped we would have a kid that loved music and sports and it looks like playing golf and going to concerts paid off. Sometimes, no dream at all can lead to places you never expected.

Thanks for tuning in today.

The Little Trickster

Just when I think I have the Kid all figured out she spices it up a bit. We have gotten up early to party this week and overslept once. She is not a very reliable alarm clock. Lord help me with the daylight savings thing.

Childcare has proved to be an issue. Not our daycare but the finding someone on the weekends. I am so new to this that I am constantly worrying about how much I should pay, how long I should be gone, etc. Then I have friends that offer to help, but they have kids and family too, so I hate to impose on their weekends. Plus I have the mommy guilt. What if she gets upset and cranky? It's so tough, but I have so much work to get done and working at night has been hit or miss lately. It usually depends on what time she falls asleep and how long we talk to B or Q or the Grandparentals. Plus the housework that I just love to do and I am usually beat by 9:00. I feel like I go from one computer chair to the next with a trip in the car in between. My next trip just might be to the padded walls.

Oh well, one month is almost down and only a month of taxes to go. If I could only get these audits wrapped up, I would be a happy girl. 2 are very nearly done, and one is going to be a rush.

And We're Walkin'

Yes, I love the Progressive commercials......but the Kid and I went strolling up to the new CVS up the street. It seems much smaller than the old, so we strolled on over to Target to get our precious baby foods. Apparently our little chunk has been eating a ton at daycare. Not sure how much she is getting yet, I have to inquire tomorrow, but combined with what I feed I think she might be getting a little much. Her next check up will be towards the end of the month, so hopefully by then I will have it all straightened out.

On the work front, I am drowning. We lost a few experienced preparers this year and most of us thought we would be fine. However, we did not realize there were a few audits that one did that got put on my plate. So now, I am trying to learn about these new clients, complete the audits alone and try to help prepare tax returns. Plus leave in time to pick up the Kid and spend some quality time with her. Needless to say I need a few more hours and maybe a nanny. Mostly, I just need my three monitors at home so I could put in some more audit hours at home. Its amazing what a difference two extra screens makes when you are so used to it. Maybe I just need a wife! One that will cook and clean and help me care for the Kid. Seriously, B did most of the cooking and I am sure I will gain all the weight back when he returns. I lived off cereal, sandwiches and popcorn before him and have been spoiled by kitchen expertise. Though the weight loss has been nice. My pants appreciate it.

Its comical that most of the pants I can fit back into now seem like I couldn't wear them forever. But really I just remember them getting to tight while my belly was growing a year ago. So it truly feels like I have a new wardrobe still.